Home Blog Page 240

First Class Idioms

0

Food for thought.
First Class Idioms
 Words | Leon Fleming

Oh we peoples of the British Isles, how we love our language with its myriad of words that nobody but us can pronounce, its overflowing catalogue of adjectives, and all those odd little phrases made up of just two or three words that we can set down all shining and fluorescing in our sentences; mini-metaphors that can be absolutely nothing at all to do with our subject, but which can, with just a single sentence, describe with all its many flavours and aromas, exactly what it is we are talking about.

We describe our world in these perfect, compact little stories, and we instinctively know what each of these phrases means; which must be immensely annoying for a person coming to our lingo from abroad, for there is not just one tongue for them to learn, but two.
 
What is more obscure, and often not given even the slightest thought, is where they came from, what their derivation is, and what it was in the evolution of our beautiful verbal and written expression that gave first breath to these creatures. So here I have taken on the task to bring enlightenment and describe the birth of some of our favourite and most used English idioms.
 
Many are class related, be it of domestic or military and naval extraction, and with almost all of them comes the often unintentional but seemingly always present spectre of English snobbery.

Let’s look at the first of our idioms to be placed under the microscope, and the one that has inspired this little piece about them; ‘First Class’. And here’s the thing, it is the idiom I don’t seem to be able to find an explanation of, even though it is a term used on the railways, in education, and in the postal services. I am unable to find a reason for it ever coming into being. From this I will conclude, rightly or wrongly, that it has emerged from the hierarchy within the British system of social class. After all, what self-respecting gentleman would want to sully himself in the presence of a man who must by necessity of his existence toil for a living with his own hands, vigour and sweat? No, no, there must be some way of making distinction, of dividing, of creating levels between the two. There is, and it is class; the first class carriage on a train, the more expensive, prioritised, first class post.
 
Another in the same vein is ‘Top Drawer’. It is obvious to anyone who imagines a set of drawers what this idiom stands for. But it’s an odd sounding thing to say, so just where does it come from? It is first known to appear as a quote in a novel from 1905 by Horace Vachell. The term makes a simile out of the idea that the best kind of people, those from the higher echelons of British society, are to be found in the highest compartment of a bedroom chest of drawers; which is the place where Victorian gentry kept their jewellery and most valuable possessions.
 
Associated with that oh so English of character traits, Englishness itself even, is a phrase that rings the bells of memories of empire and greatness, the thing we are both admired and ridiculed for in equal portion; a ‘stiff upper lip’ is something said to always be inherent in the greatest of our clan. It is what is meant to mark us out; that desire to do one’s duty, no matter what the cost, never complaining and never alluding to any negative feeling about it whatsoever. What a coup then by those comical Americans that it should be one of their number that originally penned the phrase.

It was in a publication called the ‘Massachusetts Spy’ in 1815, that a stiff upper lip was first notated in context describing this noble stoicism.
 How about a naval one for us now. “I don’t like the cut of your jib young sir” is something that any one of us might say on any given day. “I don’t like the look of you” might be a more frank way of expressing the same feeling. A jib is the triangular sail which is strung between the head of the foretopmast at the bow of the ship and the jib boom which protrudes from it. In naval tradition every country had a different style of jib sail, and so the nationality of the sailors aboard could be read by the shape. The triangular shape also has the appearance of a nose, which is the most prominent feature of the face and one of the visual markers we humans use to make an instant opinion about another of our race.
 
I shall end our little foray into the idiosyncrasies of the English metaphor with what I suppose is actually a proverb, and one that I hope one day can be said of the system of inequality which exists in our society, and which has given rise to so many of the idioms used in our speech and our literature; ‘the writing is on the wall’. This warning of impending doom and demise is taken unequivocally and literally from the Bible: Daniel 5:5, in a story where a king finds words of an unknown language scrawled upon his wall. Daniel, a slave with unearthly powers, is summoned to translate and finds it is a foretelling of the downfall of the kingdom. That night the king is killed, and the kingdom is sacked. 
 
With that parting shot, my colours nailed to the mast, I grit my teeth, batten down the hatches, cross my fingers and hope to keep the wolves from the door.

But please remember, never look a gift horse in the mouth or wait with baited breath killing time while others chew the cud; instead seize the day, keep your nose clean, keep your pecker up, but always mind your p’s and q’s my old china, and walk tall through your salad days.

Community – Winter Edition 2010

0

Small Change – Big Difference

Teenage Cancer Trust was awarded a £1,000 grant to make a Big Difference. Jason Lewis from Lloyds TSB, and Gallery’s very own Emma Long awarded the charity the money, as they felt that the grant would have the biggest impact on the quality of the lives and living conditions of the teenagers suffering with the terminal illness, due to the fact cancer patients can’t be treated here in Jersey, they have to spend time over in Southampton and this can get lonely without their friends and family. In Southampton hospital there are age-specific units for adults and small children, but nowhere really suitable for teenagers. The money will be used to help build and create a more age-specific unit, not only helping the teenage cancer patients in Jersey, but lots of teenagers who need to use the facilities in Southampton hospital.
 

Get your skates on… Ice Rink back for 2010

The ice rink is back in Parade Gardens! Just like last year, there’ll be an ice skating rink open to the public in the Parade Gardens over the Christmas/New Year period – except that this time there won’t be any outside food concessions.
 
The rink will be open to the public from 1600 hours Friday, 10th December 2010 and close on Sunday, 9th January 2011. Opening hours will be from 10am through to 10pm daily. The rink will be closed on Christmas Day and there will be reduced opening hours on Christmas Eve, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day.

 

Record breaking marathon for fittest firm in Jersey

Twenty charities will share £11,289, the largest amount ever raised by RBC Wealth Management’s Jersey marathon team. The company is also claiming the title of ‘fittest firm in Jersey’ after entering over 230 people who completed the course in teams of five or as individuals running the whole course. Altogether, RBC staff ran nearly 1500 miles during the event.

The team was made up of runners from across Britain, and there were representatives from all of RBC’s UK offices: Jersey, Guernsey, London, Edinburgh and Cheltenham. Many of the runners set their own personal fundraising goals and collected money for charities of their choice.

“I set myself a target to raise £1000 for the Jersey Sports Association for the Disabled,” said Rebecca Baudains, who ultimately raised over £1,350 for her chosen charity, which was also the largest amount collected by an individual RBC team member.

As well as the marathon’s official recipients, the £11,000 will be shared among organisations ranging from those well known in Jersey such as Jersey Hospice and the JSPCA, to Cobolt, a cancer unit in Cheltenham and Poppy Scotland.

 

Jersey Cheshire Home to benefit from new golf day supported by Hawksford International.

Jersey Cheshire Home has scored an ‘Eagle’ with two ‘slices’ of great news (boom boom! Ed.) – the foundation committee has appointed a new member and the charity has also secured a two year sponsorship agreement with Hawksford International for its annual golf day. Peter Shirreffs, former Regional Director of RBSI and NatWest, has joined the charity’s foundation committee, becoming its twelfth member.  Mr Shirreffs, who worked in the sector for more than 36 years, brings with him a wealth of financial and commercial experience which will be invaluable to the charity.  

‘The Jersey Cheshire Home is a very well run residential establishment operating for the benefit of disabled people of all ages in our community. It provides a very high level of care and I could see from visiting the home that everyone associated with the charity was totally committed. After retiring early from banking I wanted to become involved in what I considered to be worthwhile causes and I could find no better way to spend some of my spare time than assisting the other board members in providing direction and advice to the Home and its operational management,’ said Mr Shirreffs. ‘On a lighter note, as I organised and hosted the RBSI/NatWest golf day for the past 18 years I am looking forward to arranging the Cheshire Home golf day in May 2011 in association with Hawksford International.’

The Jersey Cheshire Home golf day takes place every May at La Moye Golf Club.  There are at least 22 team places available, although these tend to be snapped up very quickly.  Should anyone be interested in entering a team they should call 285858 or email david@jerseycheshire.je.

The wildest hotel in Jersey….
Guests staying at Grand Jersey will be able to contribute to an ongoing campaign to raise money for Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust. Guests staying at the five-star Grand Jersey will now have £1 added to their final room bill which will be donated directly to local charity, Durrell.  The pledge is optional but is likely to raise between £7,500-£10,000 for the good cause each year.  After the first scheme they had already raised £263.

HSBC staff go mad for rubber

More than 400 staff from HSBC embarked on a month-long project to help construct a unique enclosure at Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust last month. The project required a team of twenty HSBC volunteers each weekday until the enclosure was finished. More than 2,500 man-hours were donated to the project over the course of the month. The new ‘tyre tunnel’ will be the first sustainable building of its kind in Jersey and will provide the perfect environmental conditions for the tropical Livingstone’s fruit bat. As well as being a sustainable and energy efficient enclosure, the new tunnel will also provide as near a natural habitat as possible for the bats, vastly improving their living environment.

In addition to providing volunteers to build the new bat tunnel, HSBC is also funding a new efficient and sustainable heating and lighting system that will create the right environmental conditions for the enclosure. The installation of these systems will greatly improve the building’s energy efficiency and help Durrell potentially save around £5,000 per year in energy costs.

 

Ernst & Young employees take a hike
Last month six employees from Ernst & Young set off on an arduous trek in the Himalayas, raising £21,000 for The Prince’s Trust in the process.

The group travelled through Nepal’s picturesque landscape for seven days of biking, hiking and white-water rafting taking them through the heart of the Himalayas.

Representing the Channel Islands and selected from hundreds who applied to take part, the Ernst & Young team consisted of Margo Bourcier, Nicola Clelland, Tim Nicolle and Greg Francis from the Guernsey office and Carrie Atkinson and Michael Thomas from the Jersey office.
 

James grafts in the desert for local charity

James Baker, managing director of construction and commercial recruitment agency Grafters, will be undertaking the grueling 4,491km Intercontinental Paris Dakar race to raise funds for local charity, Holidays for Heroes Jersey.

Mr Baker, who will be roaring into action on his modified Yamaha Ténéré motorbike on 31st January 2011, is aiming to raise £1 for every kilometre he races – raising £4,491 for the local good cause.

“We are delighted and honoured that James and Grafters have chosen to support our charity and we wish him well on his amazing adventure” said Dawn and Richard Woodhouse, founders of Holidays for Heroes Jersey. “We are very grateful for all of the local fundraising support we receive and if it weren’t for individuals like James we wouldn’t be able to offer the service that we do.”

The Intercontinental Rally is an internationally organised long-distance race which passes through two continents and is geared for both racers and adventurers.  The route of the rally has been specifically designed to replicate that of the early days of the famous Paris – Dakar race including the infamous dune fields in Mauritania. It begins on 31st January 2011 in Almeria, Spain, finishing on 12th February in the famous rally hub of Dakar, Senegal.  

James sets off on his adventure on 27th January ahead of the rally start on 31st January.  If anyone wishes to make a donation via Paypal, please visit Holidays for Heroes Jersey at www.h4hjersey.org.je, alternatively donations can be sent to Grafters, 9 Great Union Road, St Helier, JE2 3YA, (cheques made payable to ‘Holidays for Heroes Jersey’) or contact James via telephone at Grafters on 01534 811114. Mr Baker would like to thank Motorama for their support in setting up his bike.
 

Banahan takes (outside) centre stage

0

Banahan takes (outside) centre stage
Jerseyman kicks critics into touch at Twickenham

Bad news and rumour fill local headlines all too frequently. On Saturday 20th November 2010, however, the Island was given every reason to put pen to paper and write about something truly positive.

Last month England Rugby’s Martin Johnson picked Jerseyman, Matt Banahan, to face Samoa in the outside centre position. Banahan had been selected on the back of try-scoring displays against the likes of Argentina at Old Trafford in 2009, a growing presence at Bath RFC (where he has assumed the captaincy on occasion) and impressive performances in the No.13 shirt in the Aviva Premiership.

Outside centre is one of a few eyebrow-raising moves in Banahan’s short but accomplished rugby career. Still in his early 20s, his current role is at least the third string to a mighty bow, having played as a forward, and later out on the wing.

In the build up to the autumn internationals some critics questioned whether he was ready. Like any great sportsman in the making, the Jerseyman seems to have the confidence to want to become the best and the courage to seek to achieve it.  

In a bone-crunching encounter Banahan’s physical presence was evident. His strength took him through a thick South Pacific defence and over the gain line. His height and speed were all important in scoring one try, setting up a second and crossing for a third (unfortunately disallowed). Not too shabby given that the milk you put on your cornflakes has seen more days in your fridge door than Banahan has at outside centre.

At the time of writing, the Springboks are next on the menu. Only you know what unfolded.
 

Building for Bin Laden

0

Building for Bin Laden
Waterfront says “oorah!” to any mujahid with a penchant for jihad

In November it was announced that the Waterfront Enterprise Board (“WEB”) had enlisted a team of anti-terrorist design experts to consult on the next phase of construction.

WEB says international banks now require high levels of protection against extremists – although it’s not known whether any such bank will actually occupy the completed site. (Following the questionable practices that contributed to the global credit crunch, extra thick glass at the cashiers may be a worthwhile investment. It’s not just men in skirts with AKs that banks should be scared of. The brief to the consultants should be “protect us from everyone”.)

The development will sit on what is now the Esplanade car park. WEB are considering construction methods that make Camp Bastion look like something put

up by one of the not-so-fortunate three little piggies. Measures considered include blast curtains in underground car parks and reinforced floors and ceiling structures.

Aside from the apparent need to cater to the demands of brattish banks, are the measures absolutely necessary? Jersey is off the radar generally. The Island struggles to attract Al and Kay from Milton Keynes, let alone Al Quaeda.

However, any terrorist planning on ‘dropping in’ can be reassured for two reasons: Jersey is examining the Council of Europe’s recommendations on the prevention of torture (reassuring for those detained) and the ludicrously expensive landing fees at Jersey Airport are unlikely to be a consideration on takeoff.
 

Stray flares and new chairs

0

Stray flares and new chairs
Jersey Harbours had much to say in November

On the 5th of November, it seems not all event-holders opted for conventional fireworks. For whatever reason (cost-cutting, last-minute organisation, blatant juvenile delinquency or typical Jersey tightness) some bright spark(ler)s joined the island-wide celebrations by firing distress flares.

Unfortunately the crew aboard the Commodore Goodwill, which was anchored in St Aubin’s Bay at the time, were well positioned to pick out signals amid the genuine pyrotechnics illuminating the night sky.  

Assuming that the flare was genuine, the Jersey Coastguard responded to each alert (15 in all). Shots fired from boats moored in the bay were fairly easy to deal with. Those who had taken flares from their vessels for use on land were harder to reach. With maximum run-up, the coastguard was able to ‘skim’ to all incidents in the Bel Royal and St Lawrence

area (although dragging the boat
back to the water each time was a bit of a fag.)  The Coastguard’s response time to a signal sighted over the northern parishes required a bit more effort. Luckily the team had a Land Rover and trailer to hand.

Aside from dealing with partying pillocks, in November Jersey Harbours announced the creation of a new shadow board to oversee aspects of its operations and those of Jersey Airport. Unfortunately the Appointments Commission rejected God, JC, Allah and a host of other saints as suitable candidates. It appears that mere mortals will be tasked with performing the miracles necessary to turn the Island’s air and sea fortunes around.

The board will be chaired by Mr Charles Clarke, a Chartered Accountant with more than 30 years experience in the finance industry.

English through and through (for one day)

0

English through and through (for a day)
Jurisdictional independence…when it suits

Jersey has been at the table of European politics (albeit from outside of the EU membership) for decades. In that time, various directives and regulations have been served, to which Jersey has peered over and either prodded, picked at, chewed and spat out, or removed from its plate entirely.

As it is not part of the EU, no-one at the table has the means to threaten the Island that it will withhold dessert unless Jersey eats its greens. Whilst Europe’s elders ingest unpalatable directives emanating from Brussels (“whatever Brussels sprouts” you could say) Jersey continues to scoff those sweet and fluffy regulations – the ones that make its finance industry feel whiter than white, transparent and incredibly attractive to those with money. Of course, the ability to pick and choose in this way has placed Jersey in a strong position politically and economically. Local international relations experts would be correct in saying that our relationship with the rest of Europe provides the best of both worlds.
In recent times it can’t be ignored that outsiders have questioned the ‘have your cake and eat it’ approach. In the aftermath of the credit crunch Whitehall was out to take tax haven scalps. Also, in the not too distant past, Jersey fought hard to retain its reciprocal health agreement with the UK. But beneath this (surprisingly) there exists an undercurrent of feeling in Jersey that the Island should in fact sever all ties with the UK completely.

In November the UK Government accepted the Ministry of Justice’s recommendations on how the UK administers its relationship with Crown Dependencies (including Jersey). Although not suggesting complete autonomy, Jersey’s Chief Minister was quoted as saying that Jersey should be “self governing…[and] responsible for determining [its] own future”.

Despite this, when it comes to the wedding between William Windsor and Kate Middleton, the Jersey crest will be stuffed under the proverbial bed, dusty Union Jacks will be brought down from the loft and we’ll all be militant if we don’t get our ‘national’ holiday.

Intro ? Winter Edition 2010

0

I’ve travelled First Class three times. The first was while backpacking and although we liked to refer to ourselves as ‘playboy backpackers’ we had never actually planned first class as part of the equation. Some total booking failure resulted in a mud covered friend and I somehow being directed upstairs on a 747 and inadvertently finishing off a three week hiking trip with champagne and personal DVD players (the nuts at the time).

There was something incredibly satisfying about sitting in our shorts and flip flops, aged 19, smiling sweetly at the array of middle aged grey suited first class aficionados. Grimaces flew back at us and they obviously weighed up the intrusion of such reprobates into their fully reclining world. The second experience was a reciprocal arrangement. It turns out that offering to take a load of pilots out for the evening to a nightclub opening in Miami is just enough airline credit to get you a return leg with all the trimmings. I was mildly concerned that the Pilot I’d still been buying shots for at about 3am was sitting in the cockpit the following day. It’s all fly by wire these days though right? No problems….

The third and last was on airmiles. Cheating I know but, at the cost of taxes only, I’ll take some time in the Virgin Clubhouse every day of the week.  Don’t get me wrong, taking showers and being waited on hand and foot (that’s pretty accurate as you can get haircuts and manicures gratis) is fantastic but in reality very few of us can afford to live the first class lifestyle, let alone fly on a G6.

We can aspire though can’t we? No matter how down the hierarchy of needs you start, there is always room on the next step. Whilst this issue has a hint toward all things First Class; great Christmas gifts, amazing jets, gorgeous fashion and the like, remember that the finer things in life are all relative and they needn’t be monetary. Sometimes you find out in life that the truly first class things are the ones you never plan and can’t buy. That sounded like I should have been saying it from a lectern, Sorry.

Have a great Christmas and New Year people from all the penguins at Gallery. We’ll be back on the 1st February. Catch you on the flip side.

BD
 

Back in the day…

0
If we went in 1967 we'd take this little baby....

Check out a rally from a time when Men were men and BMWs still had round back lights…

Monaco Rally 1967

Brand News – Man Issue

0

EDEN PARK
England Rugby Team receive a touch of French fashion flair
Eden Park is proud to announce a long term partnership with the Rugby Football Union (RFU) as the Official Formalwear provider.
The stylish fashion brand has tailored an exclusive collection of bespoke formalwear for the RFU; becoming the first French brand ever to dress the England team. The collection is part of a six year partnership covering the next two Rugby World Cups in 2011 and 2015 and will see Eden Park kit out the entire 215 strong England squads, ranging from the Seniors through to the Under 18s, management and backroom staff.
Franck Mesnel, founder of Eden Park says: “Eden Park has come a long way since 1987, when five Racing Club de France rugby players decided to design a set of rugby shirts for our friends. I would never have dreamed that just 20 years later we would have the honour of dressing the England Rugby Team. It makes me very proud.”
Martin Johnson, England Team Manager, says: “Eden Park’s rugby heritage and attention to detail make it an ideal partner for the RFU. Being founded by five ex-international rugby players means they know exactly what a rugby player requires and we are delighted Eden Park has committed to a long term contract with the England team.”
Top England International players, Ugo Monye and Danny Care travelled out to the chic fashion brand’s headquarters in Paris to work with the Eden Park design team to select fabrics, cuts and design details. As a result, each suit is unique; hand-tailored to their individual measurements with an unprecedented attention to detail including rugby ball shaped buttons, rugby kit inspired silk suit linings and the use of luxurious fabrics such as cashmere.
Eden Park is available at JEEP.

Roulette Artist Edition T-Shirts. 
To celebrate the 5th year of Roulette Clothing, the store has teamed up with local artists to create a limited edition T-Shirt range.
David Cullen told us “The idea is that it is created by Jersey people for Jersey people. I was so impressed recently with the surge in young local artistic talent that I was looking for a way to promote it and that’s where this idea came from. The t-shirts are going to be in good colours, with a great fit and then each artist’s style in collaboration with the Roulette brand”.
The lucky artists who have been chosen for this fantastic collaboration are Ollie Bartlett of Interlude who is an apparel designer; James Carter of Evil Spoons, a graffiti artist; Danny Evans, photographer; Tommy Gun, stencil artist and art student and graphic designer Tharindu Elkin. Each artist’s design reflects their chosen discipline, so the range is brilliantly varied.
Photographer Danny Evans created an original design with a dominant thigh high boot-clad model smoking. Danny commented “it was great that Roulette asked me to be involved, I shoot a lot of progressive fashion imagery that I don’t get the opportunity to present very often and this project has been the perfect vehicle to use a shot I’m really happy with.”
We also caught up with James Carter and he explained how everything started. “The series came to fruition after I spoke to David after doing the graffiti wall at Jersey Live 2009.  We decided that we should work together to do something with Roulette and local design talent. Now one year on, the Roulette Artist Edition Series is under way and is ready to hit Roulette in November.
The Roulette Artist Edition Series is super exclusive and limited with only 6 of each design available in each colour. So as there are five different designers and five different colours, there will only be 60 t-shirts available. People should grab a t-shirt before they all go as they are one-offs and will not be produced again!
The five contributors were selected to give a range of designs from different Jersey locals, there are designs including graphic design, graffiti, photography and stencils. So there is a great mix and something for everyone.”
The limited edition t-shirts will be sold from the Roulette Footwear Store with prices starting at £40.00.
Launching early November 2010.

 

+-

0

As TwentyTen (I’m definitely going to miss saying that) comes into the final two-month homestretch, the musical output from the turn of the decade has definitely stepped it up. The consistently stunning Deerhunter released their fourth record, “Halcyon Digest”, an album of such sheer quality it would be criminal to ignore. Hyperdub continued its perpetual musical progression in putting out Darkstar’s synthetically lush album “North” and Crystal Fighters finally dropped their Iberian electro-pop debut with “Star of Love”. But if you are in anyway inclined to listen to dance music of any variety consider it an obligation of reading this column that you go to Urb.com and download the two-hour mix from Jackmaster, the main man of the phenomenal Numbers label and best quiffed DJ you’ll find.
 

POP

The Knocks – Dancing With The DJ
Single – Out Now

If there was an equivalent to insider trading in the music industry, then I’m pretty sure it would be the only explanation as to how Neon Gold keep finding the best new pop acts. Following up the pop-tastic single “Make It Better”, The Knocks are back with “Dancing With The DJ”. If there’s one thing that The Knocks have perfected it’s taking pure optimism and turning it into music. One listen to “Dancing With The DJ” is enough to transform anyone into a glass-full type of guy, before the track compels you to skip out of the house to organise a Fame-esque street dance. Or something.

Hurts – Stay
Single – November 15th

I’ve never really “got” Hurts. Manchester’s perma-glum duo of Theo Hutchcraft and Adam Anderson are a fixture in fashion magazines with their sharp monochrome uniforms, and look like they should be good. I remember the hype around them and wanted to believe it, until I pressed play and mistook the audio for a live X-Factor performance. “Stay” is merely 4 minutes of the two of them attempting the ol’ classic slow, rousing pop song. The choral backing is there, the dramatic key changes are there, the only problem being the sheer boredom it induces.

 

HiPHoP

Das Racist – Sit Down, Man
Mixtape – Out Now

Usually when you want a good dose of satirical humour, your first point of call is not the second mixtape of a Brooklyn hip-hop outfit. “Sit Down, Man” not only showcases slick, smooth beats and samples, but an abundance of tongue-in-cheek humour, delivered in deadpan verse. “hahahaha jk?” opens with probably the best put down of the typical grandiose, hip-hop intro with Heems Suri muttering, “So I talk sh*t in this part? About how like – the world didn’t see it coming!”. Also, anyone who can sample Lil Wayne’s “A Milli” and turn it into the suave funk that is “Town Business” deserves repeated listens.

Nelly – Just A Dream
Single – November 8th

I’m seriously considering setting up a support group. A support group for heartbroken hip-hop superstars, get in here Fiddy, Usher, you too Eminem. Because ultimately somebody has to give these lads a shoulder to cry on when those divas go and break their hearts, time and time again, and we have to hear about it in some emotional ballad with welled-up raps dotted about the place. Nelly is clearly the latest hard working young man in the music industry to have his heart smashed to smithereens and “Just A Dream” is as bad an attempt at poignancy as you’d expect from Mr It’s Gettin’ Hot In Here.
 

indie

Zola Jesus – Poor Animal
Single – November 8th

There are some tracks that only start to make sense when the play count reaches 10, and then there are those that drag you under after just 30 seconds. When you hear Nika Roza Danilova’s full-blooded vocals burst out of the shimmering synth and string ambience of “Poor Animal” for the first time, it becomes clear that when the remaining 4 minutes are up you’ll be scouring the internet for everything Zola Jesus. Amplifying the intensity with each additional drum beat, each extra violin part, Zola Jesus shows off her stunning crescendo credentials. Take note Mumford.

Matt & Kim – Cameras
Single – November 1st

Matt & Kim are one of those love ‘em of hate ‘em bands, so naturally I felt it only logical to have a distinctly apathetic opinion on their music up until this point. Being sold as one of those bands with a large “social networking” (you know, that bookface thing all the kids are on) following seems to have made them appear better than they actually are. “Cameras” is a clunky, cacophony of lumbering brass, childish vocals with a fluctuating synth line reminiscent of a mosquito that won’t leave you alone.

 

electro

Girl Unit – WUT
Single – TBC

It’s safe to say that any release on Night Slugs is going to induce uncontrollable fits of dancing. Headed up by Bok Bok and L-Vis 1990, the label is consistently putting out mouthwateringly dynamic dance tracks and Girl Unit’s “WUT” is no exception. With its waves of glittering synths, meticulously contorted r&b vocals and thumping baseline, it’s hard to resist the slick, polished production. Nights Slugs and producers like Girl Unit are definitely flying the flag right now and you have to wonder why everyone’s still obsessed with recycled dubstep.

Armin Van Buuren – In and Out of Love
Single – November 4th

You know when someone asks you what type of music you like, and it’s a bit like trying to answer what your favourite colour is (I like a bit of sky blue here and there, maybe a nice beige now and again)? You don’t really commit to any genre, but sometimes you risk it. Then when an older family friend visits and asks what music you like, and you tentatively reply, “I’m kind of into electronic music” and they shoot you a derisive you look, you just know that in their heads a track like Armin Van Buuren’s “In and Out of Love” is playing.