Building for Bin Laden


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Building for Bin Laden
Waterfront says “oorah!” to any mujahid with a penchant for jihad

In November it was announced that the Waterfront Enterprise Board (“WEB”) had enlisted a team of anti-terrorist design experts to consult on the next phase of construction.

WEB says international banks now require high levels of protection against extremists – although it’s not known whether any such bank will actually occupy the completed site. (Following the questionable practices that contributed to the global credit crunch, extra thick glass at the cashiers may be a worthwhile investment. It’s not just men in skirts with AKs that banks should be scared of. The brief to the consultants should be “protect us from everyone”.)

The development will sit on what is now the Esplanade car park. WEB are considering construction methods that make Camp Bastion look like something put

up by one of the not-so-fortunate three little piggies. Measures considered include blast curtains in underground car parks and reinforced floors and ceiling structures.

Aside from the apparent need to cater to the demands of brattish banks, are the measures absolutely necessary? Jersey is off the radar generally. The Island struggles to attract Al and Kay from Milton Keynes, let alone Al Quaeda.

However, any terrorist planning on ‘dropping in’ can be reassured for two reasons: Jersey is examining the Council of Europe’s recommendations on the prevention of torture (reassuring for those detained) and the ludicrously expensive landing fees at Jersey Airport are unlikely to be a consideration on takeoff.

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