Photography: John Liot
If love is a bitch, then unrequited love is a rabid one. Sob stories from adolescence testify to it. There’s nothing worse than being one step away from taking the leap with someone – only to realise they’ve chained themself to the cliff.
For acoustic singer and songwriter Sam Temple, this was a regular occurrence in Brighton. “Honestly,” Sam laughed, “the most common romantic experience I’ve had has been an intense flirtation with men I didn’t realise were joking. Brighton is so open and liberal, and there were several straight men that would be very forward and flirtatious. The hardest part was how totally convincing they were.”
This was a common theme in Sam’s early writing. “Having all the elements of a romantic connection whilst being one degree of separation away from it was difficult, but it led to some cracking tunes” he laughed. “Everyone deserves to experiment with what romance looks like to them but if that isn’t properly communicated, it can result in a lot of mistrust in your own judgement. Not to mention how it affects the self-esteem of a teenager.” Dealing with rejection – after realising you’ve accidentally fallen in love with someone who can’t offer the same thing back – makes it easy to fall into false self-critique or a feeling of unlovability.
“There’s an element of fantasy that definitely plays a part,” Sam admitted. Growing up in Dagenham, the idea of being in a loving relationship was like watching a TV show. “You’re looking at love through a screen door and beginning to think, ‘Is being asked to prom not on the cards for me?’ or ‘Is this advice I’m giving out to my friends ever going to circle back to a relationship of my own?’”
Over time, Sam began to appreciate the benefits of flying solo. “I’m not sure when the feeling of loneliness turned into solitude for me,” he said, “but I watched so many friends redecorate their personalities with each new relationship, and not really know who they were without one.” Last year marked a pivotal moment for him, as he completely shifted his attention away from seeking a relationship and began to truly value the people around him. “I just got to a point where I realised, ‘Okay, if this never happens for me, and I get to my stunning gothic gravestone having only experienced love platonically, that’s more than enough for me,’” he reflected. It wasn’t a statement of resignation, but of contentment – holding a genuine gratitude for the strong bonds he shared with close friends and family.
Almost immediately after Sam accepted the possibility that he might never experience a romantic relationship, along came a man that had real potential. He’s the muse behind Sam’s latest release Away with the Fairies, which captures the complexity of these emotions in a raw piano ballad. A segment of the lyrics describes this perfectly: “I accepted there was nothing wrong with dying having only loved fraternally. I still feel the same. But I would really like it if you came with me.”
“Experiencing something like this,” Sam reflected, “felt like an emotional defibrillator. Not only am I feeling emotions that seemed fictional for so long, but they came with such ease now that I’m fully aware of who I am and what I’d want from a potential relationship.” His next song, Locked in the Laundry, is about a recent trip with this person, adventuring around London hostels, stealing moments of privacy. “This song is probably the closest I’ll get to ‘Is somebody gonna match my freak?’” He laughed. “I don’t think hyper-sexual material would work with my style of writing, so this is a much more tender version of that.”
Despite past situations that didn’t go where he thought they would, Sam’s recent experiences in life and romance have been seeping a happier layer into his music. “Heartbreak and existential crises are such reliable sources for writing, so it’s lovely to have a different well to source from,” he said with a smile. “I’ll always have a love for music that feels a bit sepia and melancholy, but while my life and the connections I’m making feel this vibrant and beautiful, it’d be a shame not to write in full colour.”
Sam is one of the recipients of ArtHouse Jersey’s grant scheme, which supports local artists with their creative endeavours. To stay up to date with his music releases, follow him on Instagram (@5amTemple), Spotify (Sam Temple) or YouTube (@SamTemple), where he’ll be posting music, updates and the occasional picture of something strange he bought from a charity shop.
