SatireBaseball caps are SO last year

Baseball caps are SO last year

Are you up to no good? Plotting something? Don’t want to draw unnecessary attention to yourself? Sounds like you need a disguise, but not just any disguise will do. Moustache? Too obvious. Thick-rimmed glasses? More popular again these days, but they still won’t cut it. Baseball cap? Don’t be ridiculous – this isn’t a British crime drama, you’ll be spotted instantly. No, what you need these days is a carrier bag.

A carrier bag with a few items of food shopping is all you need to justify your existence outside the four walls within which you live these days. It’s a guaranteed ticket no no-questions-asked-ville; a get out of jail free card; camouflage. The perfect disguise. It doesn’t even have to be an environmentally conscious ‘bag for life’ right now either, anything that unquestionably suggests that you’re merely out grabbing a few essentials while maintaining strict social distancing rules will do the trick. Hardly anyone’s driving around, there are but a handful of flights arriving and departing the airport and Greta is undoubtedly happy and enjoying a bit of homeschooling – nobody is going to question your bag of choice, just so long as you have a bag dangling from your hand you’ll be fine.

Nowhere near a shop that’s actually open? No problem! You’re combining the acquisition of a loaf of bread and a pint of Jersey’s finest (no, not Mary Ann) with your daily exercise quota, so as long as there’s a shop within about 4km of your home – or further afield if you’re dressed in activewear – and presuming it isn’t dark yet. If you’re acting suspiciously after dark, maybe a baseball cap really is your best bet. Anyway, I digress…

Am I suggesting you flout the rules set out for everyone’s safety during the April lockdown? Absolutely not; quite the opposite. All I’m saying is that next time you’re out of the house, take a careful look at what Deirdre from down the road has in her plastic bag – you never can be too sure what people might be up to.



Don’t panic, Deirdre doesn’t really have a nefarious side, it’s a fictitious name and she doesn’t live at the end of your clos. Stay inside, wash your hands, try to not to worry. Everything will be fine.

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Russ Atkinson
Russ Atkinson
Russ joined Factory having completed his degree in Graphic Design at The Arts Institute at Bournemouth. Handling the rare combination of a mastery of both words and images, Russ lends his writing skills to his overarching responsibility for design and production scheduling. Russ loves building BMWs of both the 2 and 4 wheel variety.

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