Ask A Silly Question. The following exchanges all occurred in American courts of law

“Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the morning”

Q: “Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?”
A: “All my autopsies are performed on dead people.”

Q: “The date of conception of the baby was August?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: “What were you doing at the time?”

Q: “All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?”
A: “Oral”

“How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision”

“You were there until the time you left, is this true?”

Q: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
A: “No”
Q: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
A: “No”
Q: “Did you check for breathing?”
A: “No”
Q: “So then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
A: “No”
Q: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
A: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar”
Q: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
A: “It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere”

Q: “Are you qualified to give a urine sample?”
A: “I have been since early childhood”

Q: “Can you describe the individual?”
A: “About medium height and had a beard.”
Q: “Was this a male or female?”

“Were you present when your picture was taken?”

Q: “Mr Slattery, you went on rather an elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?”
A: “Well I went to Europe Sir.”
Q: “And you took your new wife?”

“Were you alone or by yourself?”