With a noticeable gap between the people currently on reduced hours or unable to work and those who are busier than ever, putting in extra shifts as key workers and earning their much deserved overtime, believe it or not there are a lucky few who are managing to enjoy the best of both worlds.
Surviving members of American rock band ‘The Knack’ have suddenly found themselves receiving unexpected royalty cheques (well, probably bank transfers – although they no doubt would’ve preferred ‘checks’ given they’re knocking-on seventy years of age) as a result of a video recorded by an Asian man to the tune of their 1979 single ‘My Sharona’. It doesn’t take a genius to work out how the lyrics have been adapted, regardless of whether or not you’re familiar with the number-one single which sent their debut album into the stratosphere, reaching double platinum in the States, quadruple platinum in Canada and a barely-respectable 65 in the UK album charts. It’s a catchy song, but, well, yeah. Nineteen-seventies Britain; we’re proud of you for all of the Boney M vinyl you managed to relieve Woolworths of at the end of the decade instead.
None of the remaining band members were available for comment, although in their defence they’re probably all busy isolating themselves and think that Zoom is just the name of their fifth studio album and a type of ice lolly that mysteriously disappeared from supermarket chest freezers overnight a couple of decades ago around the same time as said album was released. Suspicious? We’ll let you decide. Plays of ‘My Sharona’ across popular music streaming platforms were up an average of 6430% last week, which equates to approximately $42.60 according to a host of disgruntled recording artists posting on Reddit.
Streaming service subscribers might’ve also noticed a few other wildcards on their devices recently, thanks to algorithmic suggestions based on popular web searches in their area. In short, play-counts for almost anything by The Vaccines have increased, as well as Aqua’s 1997 pop hit ‘Dr Jones’, although it’s important to note that there is absolutely no connection between the presumed-fictitious character in the song and popular celebrity general practitioner Dr Hilary Jones, other than their title and surname. It’s unclear as to whether Aqua’s Dr Jones is a medical doctor or studied a PhD in catchy synth-riffs at the University of Gothenburg.
The only other notable spike in streaming royalties since lockdown began has been for American pop-rock duo The Rembrandts, who began performing in the early eighties only to finally strike gold and probably manage to retire early in 1994 when one of their songs was snapped up as the theme tune for once very popular but truthfully mediocre US sitcom Friends, which people have recently started watching again through pure desperation while consuming ungodly quantities of wine while their children sleep as a coping strategy for the cabin fever that’s built up over the past three weeks. Click here for more about that, and remember – you read it here first.