Pet of the Month

GEORGIE COTTINI Breed: Human Age: 38 Likes: Outdoor living Hates: People who complain If I was an animal I would be: A lion Wants: To play better golf Interesting facts: I own the Bastille Brasserie.  Most impressive thing I’ve ever done: I’ve run the London Marathon in under...

Roam-eo & Juliet

In July 2011 deep in a Slovenian forest, Hubert Potočnik unknowingly penned the first lines of one of the most epic animal journeys to find love ever recorded. Now you will be glad to hear that it wasn't Hubert looking...
*Warning - may contain spoilers for people under 10 or people with primitive minds or uncontrolable imagination.So the story goes....a portly gentlemen dressed in an elaborate red dressing gown affair has tamed a bunch of elves and reindeer and...

Fired!

FIRED! Apprentice fan mixes business with pleasure. A man has been banned from a library - for pleasuring himself while reading Alan Sugar’s autobiography. The unnamed man, who is in his 30s, was spotted acting strangely as he browsed the business section...
White House victim of clear and present breach United States of America moments from declaring war on makeover terrorists In the early hours of Tuesday 4th January 2011, a call was received in the Washington Department of State. The communication, believed...

TFI 2011

TFI 2011 Fat, poor and insecure The first showing of the Coke TV advert in late November each year is a watershed event. It’s the moment when you realise that Christmas is nigh (whether you like it or not). Indeed,...

Arr ‘Mate’

Arr ‘Mate’ An Australian man has been jailed for addressing a magistrate as “mate”. Thomas John Collins was locked up after twice calling Magistrate Matthew McLaughlin “mate” during a hearing in Ipswich, Queensland. When Magistrate McLaughlin objected and ordered Collins to...

Sunbeds for inmates

Sunbeds for inmates. A Russian prison is to install sunbeds and mud baths to improve the health of its inmates. Sergei Telyatnikov, head of Moscow’s Butyrka remand prison, said inmates would also be allowed to use Skype to make voice and...

Excess Weight

Excess Weight A woman buying fruit and vegetables was overcharged - because the shop assistant’s breasts were resting on the scales. Jim Hopley, chief executive of Channel Islands Co-operative, said the assistant’s seat had been too low at the Jersey supermarket,...

Cheeky Chappy

Cheeky Chappy Bosses on TV game show Countdown had to edit out part of the show after a contestant submitted an eight-letter expletive. A section of a recent show had to be refilmed after a Cambridge University maths student found an...