In the face of rising tension locally, the Bailiff has been left no option but to submit to the mercy of the Gregorian calendar and grant islanders an additional public holiday in a desperate attempt to avoid the widespread civil unrest that has been brewing ever since somebody in Trinity noticed that May 9th will this year fall on a Saturday.

Ex-hotelier Pierre Langlios of St Mary, fronting the campaign for an extra bank holiday, had been dusting off bottles of Belvedere that have been languishing in his basement since the tourism industry began its decline in the late nineties in preparation to arm angry campaigners with molotov cocktails ahead of an imminently planned march on the Royal Square that could have proven a pivotal point in the uprising that has been dubbed the ‘Jerriais Spring’ until the bailiff announced his plans for the extra bank holiday.

The holiday, scheduled for Monday May 11th will see Mr Langlois selling off his collection of vintage vodka from a small stall in Liberation Square between the hours of noon and 6pm. All other shops will remain closed in line with local trading law.